[B2] How to Overcome Social Anxiety

Jessica:
Hi everyone, welcome back to 5-Minute English Practice. I’m Jessica, and today’s episode is a little different from our usual ones. It’s more personal, more reflective, and honestly, more important than many people realize. Today, we’re talking about social anxiety — something a lot of people experience quietly, but very few feel comfortable talking about openly. I’m here with Lisa today, and together we’re going to have an honest, gentle conversation about what social anxiety really feels like and how we can slowly, realistically learn to overcome it. Hi Lisa, thank you so much for being here today.

Lisa:
Hi Jessica, thank you for inviting me. I’ll be honest — I do feel a bit nervous talking about this, but at the same time, I’m really grateful for the chance to share my experience.

Jessica:
I really appreciate your honesty, and I think many people listening right now can relate to that feeling. Lisa, before we talk about how to overcome social anxiety, I think it’s important to start by understanding what it actually is. A lot of people hear the term, but they’re not sure whether it truly describes them. So in your own words, how would you explain social anxiety?

Lisa:
For me, social anxiety goes far beyond being shy. It’s not just feeling quiet or reserved. It’s this intense fear that shows up when you’re around other people, especially in social situations. You become very aware of yourself — how you look, how you sound, and how others might be judging you. Even very small actions, like saying hello or joining a conversation, can feel extremely heavy and stressful.

Jessica:
That’s such a clear and thoughtful explanation, and I’m really glad you pointed out that it’s not the same as shyness. I think many people tell themselves, “I’m just shy,” without realizing how much emotional pressure they’re actually carrying inside every day.

Lisa:
Exactly. And what makes it harder is that people around you often don’t understand. They might say things like, “Just relax,” or “Just be yourself,” but when you’re dealing with social anxiety, those words don’t really help. In fact, they can sometimes make you feel even more misunderstood.

Jessica:
I completely agree. Being told to “just relax” can actually increase the pressure, because it makes you feel like you’re failing at something that’s supposed to be easy. Lisa, do you remember when you first started noticing your social anxiety?

Lisa:
Yes, I think it began when I was a teenager. I became very self-conscious and started paying close attention to how others might see me. Over time, that awareness slowly turned into worry, and that worry grew stronger. Eventually, I began avoiding situations where I had to speak in front of others or meet new people. At first, avoidance felt like a form of protection, but over time, it started to limit my life in many ways.

Jessica:
That’s something so many people experience. Avoidance can feel safe in the short term, but in the long term, it often makes anxiety stronger. When you started avoiding those situations, how did it affect you emotionally?

Lisa:
I felt very lonely. Even though I wanted to connect with people, I didn’t know how to do it without feeling anxious. I would watch others talk easily, laugh, and form relationships, and I often felt jealous or sad. I kept asking myself, “Why does this seem so natural for them, and so difficult for me?”

Jessica:
That question is incredibly common, and I want to pause here and say something important for anyone listening. Social anxiety is not a weakness, and it’s not a personal failure. In many cases, it’s actually a sign that you care deeply about connection and about doing things well. The problem isn’t that you care too much — it’s that fear becomes louder than your true voice.

Lisa:
That really resonates with me. I’ve never thought about it that way before, but it feels very true.

Jessica:
I’m glad to hear that. Now, Lisa, at what point did you stop simply living with social anxiety and start thinking about overcoming it?

Lisa:
It happened gradually. There wasn’t one big moment, but I reached a point where I felt exhausted from constantly saying no to opportunities. I missed chances to make friends, to grow at work, and to enjoy everyday moments. I realized that while facing my anxiety was frightening, staying exactly the same was painful too.

Jessica:
That realization is incredibly powerful. It’s not about suddenly becoming confident or outgoing — it’s about choosing growth over comfort. When you started this journey, what did you find most challenging?

Lisa:
The hardest part was dealing with my thoughts. My mind was constantly telling me negative things like, “You’ll say something wrong,” or “People will think you’re strange.” Even though I didn’t have any real proof, those thoughts felt very real and convincing.

Jessica:
That’s such an important insight. Social anxiety often lives inside our thoughts, and those thoughts can feel like facts even when they aren’t. One thing I often remind people is that thoughts are not always the truth — they’re just mental reactions. Did learning that make a difference for you?

Lisa:
Yes, it helped a lot. Instead of immediately believing every anxious thought, I learned to notice it. When anxiety showed up, I started pausing and asking myself, “Is this actually true, or is this fear speaking?”

Jessica:
That pause is incredibly powerful. It creates space between you and your anxiety, and once that space exists, you can start responding more consciously instead of reacting automatically. Besides working on your thoughts, what else helped you move forward?

Lisa:
I focused on taking very small steps. I didn’t push myself into big social situations right away. I started with simple actions — making eye contact, smiling, or saying one short sentence. It felt uncomfortable at first, but over time, it became less overwhelming.

Jessica:
I love that you mentioned small steps, because many people believe that overcoming social anxiety means suddenly becoming very outgoing. That idea alone can feel terrifying. In reality, progress usually comes from small, repeated actions over time.

Lisa:
Absolutely. And learning to celebrate small wins helped me a lot. Even if I only spoke once during a meeting or said hello to someone new, I reminded myself that it mattered.

Jessica:
That’s such an important habit — recognizing effort instead of only focusing on results. People with social anxiety are often very hard on themselves. They notice every mistake but ignore their courage. Learning to be kinder to yourself is a huge part of healing.

Lisa:
I agree. I also learned that it’s okay to feel anxious and still take action. I used to believe I had to wait until I felt calm, but that moment never really came. Now I understand that courage doesn’t mean having no fear — it means moving forward even when fear is present.

Jessica:
That’s such a meaningful insight. Anxiety usually doesn’t disappear first. Action comes first, and confidence often follows. For anyone listening who feels overwhelmed right now, what would you like to say to them?

Lisa:
I would say this: you don’t need to change who you are. You don’t need to become someone else. You only need to give yourself permission to try, slowly and gently. Feeling anxious doesn’t mean you’re failing — it means you’re human.

Jessica:
Social anxiety often convinces people that something is wrong with them, but that’s simply not true. Many people with social anxiety are sensitive, thoughtful, and deeply caring. They just need understanding, tools, and support. Lisa, did opening up to others about your anxiety help you?

Lisa:
Yes, very much. For a long time, I kept everything inside because I felt ashamed. But when I finally shared my feelings, I realized how many people had similar experiences. Talking about it made me feel less alone.

Jessica:
Anxiety often grows in silence, but when we talk about it, it starts to lose its power. Before we finish, Lisa, what is one simple step you would suggest for someone who wants to start overcoming social anxiety today?

Lisa:
I would suggest starting with awareness. Notice when anxiety appears and how you speak to yourself in those moments. Then choose one small action — just one — even if it feels uncomfortable. And afterward, take a moment to be proud of yourself for trying.

Jessica:
That’s wonderful advice. I’d also like to add that overcoming social anxiety is not a straight line. Some days will feel easier, and other days will feel harder. That doesn’t mean you’re going backward — it simply means you’re learning and growing.

Lisa:
Exactly. Progress isn’t perfect, but it’s real.

Jessica:
Thank you so much, Lisa, for sharing your story so openly and thoughtfully today. I truly believe this conversation will help many people feel seen and understood.

Lisa:
Thank you, Jessica. I’m really grateful we could talk about this.

Jessica:
And to everyone listening, thank you for being here. If you struggle with social anxiety, please remember that you’re not alone, and you’re not weak. Take your time, be kind to yourself, and keep taking small steps forward. This is Jessica, and this has been 5-Minute English Practice. We’ll see you in the next episode.

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