[B2] Heal Your Inner Child and Reconnect With Yourself

Jessica:
Hi everyone, and welcome back to 5-Minute English Practice. I’m Jessica, and I’m really happy you’re here with us today. Today’s episode is about understanding yourself on a deeper emotional level, because when you understand yourself, the way you communicate, the way you connect with others, and even the way you use language all begin to change naturally. The topic we’re talking about today is healing your inner child. And to explore this topic in a real, honest, and grounded way, I’m not doing this alone. I’m joined today by Peter. Peter, thank you so much for being here. How are you feeling about today’s topic?

Peter:
Thanks, Jessica. I’m really glad to be here, but I’ll be honest, this topic feels very close to home. When you first mentioned “healing your inner child,” my first reaction was curiosity, but right after that, I felt a bit uncomfortable, because this kind of topic forces you to slow down and really look at yourself, and that’s not always easy. But I think that discomfort is actually a sign that the topic matters.

Jessica:
I completely agree with that, and I’m really glad you said it out loud. Let me ask you something to start the conversation in a very human way. Lately, have you noticed any emotional reactions that surprised you, moments where you thought, “Why am I reacting like this?”

Peter:
Yes, definitely. Actually, that’s been happening quite often. For example, small misunderstandings, silence from other people, or even a slightly critical comment can stay in my mind much longer than I expect. Logically, I know it’s not a big deal, but emotionally, it feels heavier, and sometimes I feel frustrated with myself for reacting that way. Have you ever experienced that too?

Jessica:
Absolutely, and I think most people listening have experienced that at some point. That gap between what you know logically and what you feel emotionally is one of the biggest signs that something deeper is happening. Let me ask you this: when those moments happen, what do you usually say to yourself internally?

Peter:
That’s a good question. Honestly, my inner voice usually becomes quite critical. I tell myself things like, “You’re overthinking,” or “You should be stronger than this,” or “Why are you so sensitive?” And when I say those things to myself, I don’t actually feel better. I just feel more tense.

Jessica:
And that’s such an important realization. Because if that voice doesn’t make you feel safer or calmer, then it’s probably not helping you heal. In fact, that inner voice often sounds very similar to voices we heard when we were younger. Let me ask you something deeper here. When you think about that critical voice, does it feel familiar?

Peter:
Yes, it does. When you say it like that, I realize that it sounds a lot like things I heard growing up, things like “Don’t be so emotional,” or “You should know better,” or “Just deal with it.” I never thought of connecting that voice to my childhood before, but now it feels very obvious.

Jessica:
That connection is at the heart of inner child work. When we talk about the inner child, we’re really talking about the emotional part of us that learned how to survive when we were young. As children, we didn’t have emotional tools, language, or power, so we adapted in whatever way felt necessary. Let me ask you this: looking back, do you feel like you had space to express emotions freely when you were a child?

Peter:
Not really. I think emotions were allowed only if they were convenient. If I was happy or doing well, that was fine. But if I was sad, angry, or confused, the message was usually to calm down, stop overreacting, or be strong. So I learned pretty early that showing emotions wasn’t very welcome.

Jessica:
And that learning doesn’t disappear with age. It turns into patterns. Many adults who struggle with emotional expression aren’t weak or immature. They simply learned very early that emotions were unsafe. Let me ask you another question, and feel free to take your time with it. How do you think that early experience affects the way you handle emotions now?

Peter:
I think it explains why I tend to analyze my feelings instead of actually feeling them. I can explain why I feel anxious or upset, but sitting with the emotion itself still feels uncomfortable. And I also notice that I sometimes disconnect emotionally when things get intense. Do you think that’s also related to the inner child?

Jessica:
Very much so. Disconnection is a survival strategy. If emotions weren’t safe when you were young, your nervous system learned to protect you by distancing you from them. That’s not a failure. That’s intelligence. But here’s the question I want to ask you, and it’s a big one. Do you feel like those strategies still serve you now?

Peter:
Honestly, no. They helped me survive back then, but now they sometimes create distance in my relationships and even within myself. I want to feel more connected, but I don’t always know how. So let me turn the question back to you. How do you personally understand the process of healing the inner child?

Jessica:
For me, healing the inner child starts with changing the relationship you have with yourself. It’s not about blaming parents or reliving the past over and over. It’s about noticing how you treat yourself in moments of stress, failure, or vulnerability. Let me ask you something in return. When you make a mistake today, what is your immediate reaction toward yourself?

Peter:
My immediate reaction is usually self-criticism. I focus on what I did wrong and how I could have done better. Compassion doesn’t come naturally in those moments.

Jessica:
That’s very common, and it tells us a lot. Healing the inner child often means learning how to respond to yourself the way a supportive adult would respond to a child. If a child made a mistake, you wouldn’t shame them or tell them they’re not good enough. You would guide them, reassure them, and help them learn. So here’s a question for you. What do you think would change if you treated yourself that way?

Peter:
I think I would feel safer inside my own mind. I wouldn’t feel like I constantly have to prove myself. And honestly, I think I would have more energy, because self-criticism is exhausting. Let me ask you this, though. Many people say, “I understand this logically, but I don’t know how to actually do it.” What would you say to them?

Jessica:
I would say that healing is a practice, not a switch. You don’t suddenly become kind to yourself overnight. You start by noticing. Noticing when you’re triggered. Noticing when your inner voice becomes harsh. And then, instead of trying to fix it immediately, you pause and ask a very simple question: “What do I need right now?” That question is powerful because many people were never asked that as children. Let me ask you something. When you imagine asking yourself that question, how does it feel?

Peter:
It feels strange, but also comforting. Strange because I’m not used to prioritizing my own needs emotionally, and comforting because it feels like permission. Permission to slow down, to rest, or to say no. I think many people feel guilty about those things. Why do you think rest is so difficult for so many adults?

Jessica:
Because rest often feels unsafe to the inner child. If love or approval was connected to productivity or good behavior, resting can feel like you’re risking connection. Healing means teaching that part of you a new message: you are worthy even when you’re not doing anything. Let me ask you another question. How do you think healing the inner child affects relationships?

Peter:
I think it changes everything. When you understand your inner child, you realize that many conflicts aren’t really about the other person. They’re about old wounds being activated. Instead of reacting, you can pause and ask yourself, “What part of me is hurting right now?” And that awareness can completely change the way you communicate.

Jessica:
Exactly. Healing your inner child doesn’t mean you’ll never feel hurt or triggered again. It means you won’t abandon yourself when it happens. And that’s such an important lesson. You learn to stay with yourself instead of turning against yourself. So as we slowly come toward the end of this conversation, I want to ask you one final question. If you could say one thing to someone listening who feels emotionally tired and confused, what would it be?

Peter:
I would say this: there is nothing wrong with you. Your reactions make sense when you understand where they come from. You adapted to survive, and now you’re learning how to live more fully. Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time, but awareness is already a huge step.

Jessica:
That’s beautifully said. And I want to add this for everyone listening. You are not behind. You are not weak. And you are not too much. Healing your inner child is not about becoming someone else. It’s about coming home to yourself, slowly and gently. Thank you so much for this conversation, Peter.

Peter:
Thank you, Jessica. And thank you to everyone who listened with an open heart.

Jessica:
This has been 5-Minute English Practice. Take good care of yourself, and we’ll see you in the next episode.