[B2] How to Stop Comparing Yourself and Start Growing

Hi everyone, welcome back to 5-Minute English Podcast! I’m Jessica, and today we’re going to talk about something that affects almost everyone — comparing ourselves to others.

Think about this: Have you ever scrolled through social media and felt a little uneasy, maybe even jealous, when you saw someone’s vacation photos, their promotion at work, or a new skill they just learned? Or maybe you’re at a coffee shop and overhear a colleague talking about their achievements, and suddenly you start questioning your own progress. These feelings are completely normal — your brain is wired to notice how you measure up to others.

But here’s the tricky part: constant comparison can be harmful. It can make you feel anxious, frustrated, or stuck. And the more you compare, the harder it becomes to focus on your own growth. On the other hand, comparison can be helpful if you learn to use it wisely. It can inspire you, motivate you, and help you set your own goals.

In today’s episode, we’re going to explore both sides of comparison. We’ll share practical tips for shifting your mindset, real-life examples, and even interactive exercises to help you stop comparing yourself and start growing — all while practicing English.

To make this more engaging, I invited my friend Lisa to join me in a conversation. We’ll share personal stories, discuss situations we’ve faced, and offer strategies you can try in your daily life.

Jessica: Hi Lisa! I’m really glad we could meet today. I’ve been thinking a lot about a topic that so many people struggle with — comparing ourselves to others.

Lisa: Oh yes, I know exactly what you mean. Honestly, I catch myself doing it almost every day, especially on social media. Sometimes it’s so subtle — I see a friend post about a new job, or traveling somewhere exotic, and I immediately start questioning my own progress.

Jessica: That’s such a common feeling. I think we’ve all been there. I remember scrolling through Instagram last month and seeing a colleague post about completing an online course. Immediately, I felt like I was behind, like I wasn’t learning enough.

Lisa: Yes! Exactly that. Or even at work — I was in a team meeting recently, and a teammate shared their project update. Their progress seemed so fast, and I started doubting my own pace. I thought, “Why can’t I get this done as quickly?”

Jessica: I know that feeling. But here’s the thing — comparison itself isn’t the enemy. It becomes a problem only when it makes us feel small or stuck. There’s actually a way to use comparison as inspiration instead of self-criticism.

Lisa: Hmm, how do you mean?

Jessica: Well, let’s take your Instagram example. Instead of thinking, “I’ll never do that,” you could think, “Wow, they did this! What can I learn from their experience? Can I set a goal for myself?” It turns a negative emotion into motivation.

Lisa: Oh, I see. That’s a subtle shift, but it makes a big difference. I think I usually just feel jealous and move on, which leaves me stuck in the same place.

Jessica: That’s why mindset is so important. I’ve also started keeping a small notebook where I track my personal progress. Every day, I write one thing I accomplished — it can be big, like completing a presentation, or small, like learning a new word in English. When I read it back, I realize I’ve been growing even if it didn’t feel like it day by day.

Lisa: That’s a really nice idea. I think I need something like that too. Sometimes I don’t even notice my own progress. For example, I’ve been practicing English for a few months, but when I hear a native speaker, I still feel like I haven’t improved.

Jessica: Oh, I totally understand. I had the same experience. I remember listening to a podcast in English a few months ago, and I couldn’t understand half of it. But now, I can follow most of it. The progress is real — even if it feels slow at first.

Lisa: That makes sense. I think one of the hardest parts is social media. It’s everywhere, and it always shows the highlights, not the struggles.

Jessica: Yes! Social media is like a highlight reel — nobody posts their mistakes or failures. That’s why it’s so important to remind yourself that you’re seeing only part of the story. Maybe someone looks perfect online, but they could be struggling behind the scenes.

Lisa: You’re right. I remember seeing a friend post about running a marathon. I thought, “Wow, I could never do that.” But later, I found out she trained for a year and had to overcome injuries. It made me realize I was comparing my casual weekend jog to her full training journey — totally unfair!

Jessica: Exactly! That’s why focusing on your own journey is so crucial. Set goals that matter to you, and measure your progress against yourself, not someone else.

Lisa: But sometimes it’s hard to stay motivated when you feel like others are moving faster. For example, in my English class, there’s one student who picks up new vocabulary so quickly. I feel like I’m slower, and that discourages me.

Jessica: That’s completely normal. But try this: instead of saying, “I’m slower,” you can say, “I admire how quickly they learn, and I can adopt some of their strategies.” Maybe you could study in shorter, consistent sessions or make flashcards — things that work for you.

Lisa: Hmm, I like that. Turn envy into learning. That makes comparison more productive.

Jessica: Yes, exactly. Another thing that helps is gratitude. Every day, I try to note three things I’m proud of or thankful for. Even small things — finishing a task, learning a new phrase, or helping someone — matter. It shifts your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have.

Lisa: I think I need to do that too. I usually focus only on what I haven’t done yet. For example, I might think, “I haven’t finished reading that book, or I haven’t passed that test,” and it feels discouraging.

Jessica: That’s why celebrating small wins is so important. Growth is made of small steps. Even learning a few new words, completing a project, or practicing a skill consistently is progress. Acknowledging these wins builds confidence.

Lisa: True. And I guess self-compassion is part of that too. I’m often really hard on myself. If I make a mistake, I beat myself up.

Jessica: Yes, that’s very common. Treat yourself like you would a friend. If your friend makes a mistake, you’d probably encourage them, right? You can do the same for yourself. Mistakes are part of learning, not proof that you’re failing.

Lisa: That’s a good way to look at it. I think it would help me reduce the urge to compare.

Jessica: Absolutely. And it’s also about perspective. Let’s say you see a colleague posting about a promotion. Instead of thinking, “I’m behind,” you could think, “Wow, that’s great. I wonder how they achieved it. Maybe I can take some steps toward a similar goal.” It turns jealousy into curiosity and motivation.

Lisa: I like that. Turning comparison into curiosity sounds much healthier. I’ll try to do that next time I feel that way.

Jessica: Another real-life tip is setting boundaries with social media. If scrolling through feeds leaves you feeling anxious or inadequate, take a break. Unfollow accounts that trigger negative feelings, and follow those that inspire you. For example, motivational pages, educational content, or people who share struggles as well as successes.

Lisa: That’s a good idea. I think I need to curate my feed better. Some posts make me feel worse, not better.

Jessica: And remember, comparison isn’t only about social media. It happens at work, school, or even among friends. But you can handle it in the same way — focus on your progress, learn from others, and practice gratitude.

Lisa: Yes, I see. I think another practical tip is to talk about it with someone you trust. Sometimes just sharing how you feel can help you realize you’re not alone.

Jessica: Absolutely. Discussing your feelings with a friend, mentor, or colleague can help you gain perspective and get advice on how to grow without feeling inadequate.

Lisa: I feel like I already learned a lot just from this conversation. I see now that comparison isn’t inherently bad — it’s how you respond. And focusing on my journey, celebrating small wins, practicing gratitude, and being kind to myself can really change my mindset.

Jessica: Exactly! And it’s a daily practice. Every time you notice yourself comparing, you can pause, reflect, and choose a positive response. Over time, it becomes a habit.

Lisa: I love that. And I can even use this topic to practice my English — talking out loud about my goals, achievements, and things I admire in others.

Jessica: That’s perfect. Practicing English while reflecting on self-improvement is a win-win. You improve your language skills and build a positive mindset at the same time.

Lisa: Thanks, Jessica. I feel motivated and ready to start focusing on my own growth instead of comparing myself all the time.

Jessica: That’s wonderful to hear, Lisa. Remember, growth is a journey, not a race. Every step, no matter how small, counts. Celebrate it, learn from it, and enjoy the process.

Lisa: I will! And I think I’ll start my gratitude journal tonight. Three things I’m proud of or thankful for every day. That sounds like a really practical start.

Jessica: Absolutely. You’ll see the difference in a few weeks. And remember — be patient with yourself. Consistency beats perfection.

Lisa: Thanks for all the tips and examples. I feel like I have a new mindset and some practical strategies to try.

Jessica: I’m so glad, Lisa. And to everyone listening, I hope you also found some strategies that work for you. Start small, be kind to yourself, and focus on your personal journey. That’s how real growth happens.

Alright everyone, now it’s your turn to speak out loud. Don’t worry about making mistakes — just focus on expressing your thoughts clearly and naturally.

First, take a deep breath, and say one thing you’re proud of today. It could be big or small. For example, “I’m proud of finishing a difficult project at work today,” or, “I’m proud that I studied English for 30 minutes this morning.” Speak it slowly and clearly.

Next, think about a skill you want to develop this week. Say it out loud: “This week, I want to improve my listening skills by watching English videos every day,” or, “I want to learn three new words every day and use them in a sentence.”

Now, think of someone you admire. Instead of comparing yourself negatively, focus on what you can learn from them. Say something like: “I admire my colleague because they are organized and creative. I want to learn how to manage my time better like them.”

Finally, practice gratitude. Say three things you’re grateful for today. For example: “I’m grateful for my health, my family, and the opportunity to learn new things.”

Remember, the goal isn’t perfect grammar — it’s speaking confidently and practicing English while reflecting on yourself. Repeat these exercises regularly, and you’ll notice your mindset becoming more positive, and your English more natural.

And now, let’s wrap up today’s episode.

Thank you so much for listening! I hope this lesson helped you understand why comparing yourself to others isn’t helpful, and gave you practical strategies to focus on your own growth instead.

Remember, growth is a journey, not a race. Every small step counts — learning a new skill, completing a task, or practicing gratitude is progress. Be patient, stay consistent, and most importantly, be kind to yourself.

If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to subscribe, like, and share your thoughts in the comments. Tell us which tip you’ll try first, or what goal you’re working on. I love hearing from you, and I’ll continue making lessons to help you improve your English while improving your life.

Keep practicing, stay positive, and enjoy your personal journey. I’ll see you in the next episode!